Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Grouting--Give me the Weapon to Win/Hips and Security Cameras Don't Lie

GROUTING

This week I learned how to regrout. It's pretty simple. You clean the area, chip out 1/16 inch of the old grout, wipe away the excess with a sponge, and apply the new grout using your finger. After 10 minutes, wipe away the spillover on the tiles. One hour later, get an old sock and polish the hardened grout. When it's done you'll have a bright white grid where the old gray one stood.

My bathroom window looks out on grass, trees, and flowers. I think this is why I get an unusual amount of mold. An attack starts with a spot and can spread rapidly in a few days. Five years ago I scrubbed the ceiling and applied two coats of anti-mold paint. That did the trick. I wanted to apply the paint after the regrouting but my wife gets sick from the smell of paint. I'll have to wait until she goes on vacation.

We've come a long way. The mold is on the run. Sure there are sleeper cells that show up here and there but we can handle it. My hands are tied from achieving total victory today. We'll be in there a long time but I know I can outlast the current mold because I have the weapons. The mold will always be there, waiting, and it's just a matter of will and a question of when victory be achieved.

MY SPOT

Many years ago I was sitting on the floor and my young son said, "Dad you have a spot." I denied it even though I knew it was true. About the size of a quarter, I could barely see it in the mirror.

Today I observed the spot from the aerial angle of a bodega security camera. [It's good to know a place you can still get a beer before noon on the way to the beach.] My mirror told me the spot was bigger than a half-dollar and smaller than a Little Debbie but this camera revealed it to be closer to a 1960s Ring Ding. The glare of the unforgiving fluorescent light may have made it look bigger than it really is.

Upsides of losing hair:
  • I can feel the first drops of rain
  • Faster haircuts
  • Saving money on shampoo
  • Ladies love bald guys
Downsides:
  • None that I can think of

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