Joke; KUNG FU PANDA; DOUBT; SHUT UP AND SING; What's in the Daily News? Not much

Nothing to do with the rest of the post, let's start today with a joke.

The definition of a Friend: some who'll help you move.

The definition of a Real Friend: someone who'll help you move a body.

*****

KUNG FU PANDA on DVD

Jack Black brings the funny as the little panda that could, meeting his destiny to fight an evil tiger who aims to ravage the land. Several fine Asian actors appears in the supporting cast, including Jackie Chan in a supporting role, which you wouldn't expect in a Kung Fu movie. He plays a member of the legendary team, the Fabulous Five. I would have cast him as the wise master (Dustin Hoffman).

Special mention to James Hong, he of the 335 imdb.com actor credits dating back to 1955. He's a duck who's father to a panda. The duo appears to be a variation of the Rodney Dangerfield joke and they do a very funny scene that plays on the duck/panda dichotomy. (Rodney always wondered if he was adopted. One day, he asked his father, "Wong Fu...")


DOUBT

Over the holiday it was Clint vs. Meryl, which movie to see? Since there was no sequel to BRIDGES OF MADISON COUNTY playing, my wife won this argument.

Did a priest (Philip Seymour Hofman) molest a schoolboy? Who is right about him, the strict and suspicious veteran nun (Meryl Streep) or the trusting rookie nun (Amy Adams) who knows he's innocent? Hoffman is one of my favorite actors. He reminds me of my brother, perpetually pissed in a Brian Keith kind of way.

Streep has a great reveal where we learn something of her past. She plays it as a throwaway line or two so don't blink. The lines give you enough evidence to help you decide if she's got what it takes to make the charge stick.

Amy Adams disappears from most of the last half-hour of the movie. She's written out of the plot to go visit family. That places Streep vs. Hoffman alone together on centerstage like Columbo vs. Patrick McGoohan in a battle of wills. No doubt, Oscar will be calling.


SHUT UP AND SING on DVD

People who supported Bush burned the Dixie Chicks CDs. Most of them changed their minds about Bush. There are a lot of people who owe the Chicks an apology. The most shocking revelation: lead singer Natale Manes is married to Adrian Pasdar--Nathan Petrelli from HEROES! I follow the business and had never heard this, or forgot it. There's a lesson here for showbiz couples who complain about the spotlight. Stay home with your kids when they're little, the night clubs will still be there when they get a little older.

I think the movie was an attempt to show Republican Family Values voters that these ladies are just like them, good parents. They are not Jane Fonda, providing aid and comfort to the enemy on enemy territory, within miles of our soldiers being tortured. Natale Manes spoke out against the war before a shot was fired. That's the using the same First Amendment that allows me to criticize Bill O'Reilly's call to slap around the Chicks as punishment. (It's on videotape from his show.) O'Reilly, who paid tens of millions of dollars in a dirty-talk-to-co-worker settlement, has it in for women. I don't have to worry about O'Reilly coming after me because he said on his show that after paying the millions, no matter who asked him or how many times, he would never speak about it again. Too bad the Chicks don't have that luxury.


WHAT'S IN THE DAILY NEWS? NOT MUCH

The Daily News Sunday comics taught me how to read. Dondi, Terry and the Pirates, Dick Tracy. This week I dumped the News.

Forget the politics, there's no reading in the DN any more. They took out Rush & Molloy for sleazy items about people I never heard of except in the gossip page, fired Bianculli, and what's left in the rest of the paper is about 20 minutes of reading. Almost no daily show biz coverage, few news articles, an anemic business section, sports hanging in there, and from 4 down to 3 comic pages. The worst layout decision was to start the NOW section on the left. I'm switching to the Post for the first time ever. I give the News about 6 months. They are ready to fold or sell. Zuckerman is no genius as he proved with the Madoff scandal.

I know Madoff can't be executed but I'm stumped how we send a message to the next guy.