Johnny U: His Life and Times by Tom Callahan

After the Mets' devastating collapse this year (sorry Tom Glavine and Manny Ramirez, the fans take it hard even if you guys don’t) I even lost interest in football, like the guy who got hit so hard his grandfather felt it too. The Jets' poor start isn’t helping. Johnny U: His Life and Times by Tom Callahan has helped in my road to recovery.

By popular and official acclaim, Johnny Unitas was the greatest quarterback in history. Baltimore Colt Jim Parker told Unitas in the huddle that a defender “just called me a nigger.” Unitas said, “We can’t have that. Let him through this time.” Unitas hit him in the head with a laser, this in the day before helmets were as hard as battering rams. “’He fell like a f—kin’ tree,’ Parker recalled.” I thought this did more for race relations, at least on the Colts, than 100 speeches by well-meaning individuals.

George Blanda, Jim Kelly, Dan Marino, Joe Montana, Joe Namath, and Babe Parilli were other QBs from western Pennsylvania who had the ethnic work ethic but Unitas stands foremost in his leadership ability, taking the blame for others' mistakes and standing up for his own. Former Jet Joe Namath’s admiration for Unitas is evident, saying in his neighborhood he was “Joey U” growing up.

Not only Unitas’ story is told but those of his teammates: defensive end Gino Marchetti, Army vet via an avoided prison term (“I figured I could either face the Germans or I could face my father”); defensive tackle Art Donovan, who you might remember as a raconteur on Letterman’s NBC show; Raymond Berry, the contact-wearing wide receiver; and many others including the above mentioned Parker, and other characters, such as defensive back Johnny Sample. He wrote his own book, Confessions of a Dirty Ballplayer in 1970. It was written too early to cover his post-retirement activity. He broke the law (passing bad paper), sharpened his tennis game at Club Fed with the Watergaters, then became a respected tennis line judge. Reporters must have loved Sample because the first ten obits I read don’t mention his post-retirement problem at all.

On the first page we learn that Unitas et al. played football "when men played football for something less than a living and something more than money.” This book passes the Don Imus First Line test. Callahan’s beautiful prose, to paraphrase Renee Zellweger’s football movie, had me at “when men played football…” Players worked in the off-season out of necessity and stayed in town to live, drinking in the bars with the fans, opening businesses, living among us like…us.

A big score from a championship victory could make a difference in a player’s life. NFL commissioner Bert Bell told players to call him if they need anything and they did, like the ’58 champion Colt, Parker again, who was short for a house down payment. “Mr. Bell” (another great leader) told him to come down, he would cut him his championship check that day! Mr. Bell did.

The Colts beat the Giants on Dec. 28, 1958 in the Greatest Game Ever Played, but Callahan reveals that the players point back to a regular season game that year that surpassed The Greatest, in their view. He covers both Greatest Games in thrilling come-from-behind detail.

This book is laugh-out loud funny, touching, and a first-hand reporting job based on hundreds of interviews. I recommend it for sports fan and fans of life itself.

Published by Three Rivers Press; reprint edition August 2007 from the original hardcover by Crown.

Mr. Mann

Theodore Mann, co-founder of the Circle in the Square Theatre, gave a lecture at the NY Public Library for the Performing Arts at Lincoln Center on October 20, 2007 before 50 or so theater lovers. He touched on as many highlights of his career as a producer and director as you can fit in an hour and change. The Circle is credited with starting the off- Broadway movement in the 1950s.

Ted has just written an excellent memoir, Journeys in the Night, which I had the pleasure of working on as a production editor for his publisher and my former employer, Applause Books. My favorite stories in the book have to be the George C. Scott tales, which could have filled their own book. Ted told the audience how he hired George C. Scott after one meeting. Not exactly a meeting, the book reveals he was totally taken by Scott’s bearing just by seeing him sleeping on a dressing room cot! Scott was hired to star in the Circle’s Children of Darkness with Colleen Dewhurst and became an integral part of the Circle as star, director, and benefactor.

He told more stories about Jason Robards, “Dusty” Hoffman, Geraldine Page, and the time Raul Julia met Ray Bolger. Ray had created the role that Raul was playing in the revival of Where’s Charley? I got goose bumps, even though I already knew the story, hearing again about Bolger leaping to the stage after Julia’s performance, tap dancing and taking a twirl around the set with the leading lady.

I started off the Q&A session by asking Ted how he made the transition from producer to director, which, if not a total rarity to try, is exceptional to excel at both. Ted revealed that during preparations for The Balcony in 1960, director and Circle co-founder José Quintero took a lesser role and Ted stepped forward in casting the roles and cutting text. Working closely with José, he morphed into his second career as a director, picking up the language of directing from José and others.

I was laid off from Applause Books in March 2007 in the middle of production of the book. Ted asked me to come over to the Circle to help him edit the figure captions for Journeys. He also gave me some plays recently sent to him. I read them and I wrote some comments for him. I thought of the hundreds of people he must have helped over the years for one reason or another with work and a check.

Going to the Circle during that brief period restored my self-respect after losing the Applause job to outsourcing. Applause told me I did a great job, but it’s just business. It hurt to lose the only paying job I ever loved or from which I even took work home. Ted reminded me I still had value as an editor or even as a human being. Maybe that’s what theater is supposed to do.

Thank you Mr. Mann.

Ted Mann, autographing a copy of

his book for his production editor.

A Day at the NY Aquarium

You talkin' to me?


An off-season visit to the NY Aquarium is a treat. You beat the crowds and don't run into beachgoers on the way home. It had been five years since our last visit and that's too long.

One minor criticism is the alien stingers exhibit, which repeats several of the fish that are featured in other exhibits, such as the jellies.

If we ever make it to Io's oceans we might see creatures like the mysterious jelly.

The Aquatheater features California sea lions in a fun program with stunts by the seals and education by the trainers. When we went five years ago the program was slightly apologetic about putting the sea lions through stunts but it's possible the political climate has changed. Also, these sea lions, Otis and Osborne, didn't actually do many vigorous or exotic stunts, mostly just shaking their flippers and leaping out of the water to hit the balloon. Five years ago two other sea lions were jumping through suspended hoops and flying around the arena at high speed.

Trainer: Come on Otis, jump through the hoop. Otis: No ma'am, UPPSLUS* says we don't have to after the second show.


A lot of animals have physical antecedents in fish, such catfish and sea horses, so maybe there's something to Darwin and the Little Mermaid. Another good example is the toad fish.

A close-up of a toad fish or the reincarnated Eddie Robinson without trademark cigar?

A rare shot of Mrs. 1Ott out at the Aquarium, admiring Little Caesar.


Pretty as a picture.


This guy came formal, or, hey, they said this camera took color pictures!


Here is mama walrus Kulu, who gave birth this summer to 115-pound baby Akituusaq. Ouch! Actually the film loop that showed the birth shows him popping out in a few slippery seconds.

We close with a last look at some world famous Coney Island attractions so well-known that they need no description. Apologies to Kevin Walsh, Mr. Forgotten New York, who gets a royalty every time someone takes a New York picture of anything more than 10 years old.



Photos by B.P. Black

_____
*Union of Professional Performing Sea Lions of the United States.

The Religion of 9/11

We have a lot of unrecognized religions in the U.S. First and foremost is the NFL. More people watch or attend football than go to church and it's easy to prove (been to church lately?; see any football?; your witness). The Vince Lombardi Trophy is even a golden chalice holding a football.

9/11 has become a religion. George W. Bush is its St. Paul, interpreting the events as one who wasn't there but knows what it all means. Rudy Giuliani is its pope, the reader of the law, excommunicating anyone who goes against his ex cathedra statements on fighting terrorism. Rudy by the way has yet to visit Iraq but I give him credit for an incredible eulogy for my wife's cousin, Fireman Tommy Kelly.

Tourists can make the stations of 9/11. Every day the tourists buses pull up to the WTC cross, currently located at the side of St. Peter's on Church Street down the block from the WTC. They pile out, take pictures of the cross and do Ground Zero, Trinity Church, buy a few souvenirs.

Some people found a purpose to their lives for the first time. Recently I read about the reunion of the clappers who, in the months of rescue and recovery, stood on the West Side Highway cheering the rescue workers on their way into the pit. This year they assembled in the same spot and were told by the police to move, they were in the way. Don't you know who we are? they said but the police would have none of it. How sharper than a serpent's tooth is ingratitude.

I suffered post-traumatic shock from being down there, looking for my daughter who fled her high school on Chambers St. I will always be grateful to her princpal for safely evacuating the school.

I heard two African American youths talking on 9/11. One said to the other, "I can't believe what happened to us today." I thought many years later of a president who had a country 100% united and how he squandered that capital.

One night, a few years after 9/11, I was in my daughter's school watching a student production of KISS ME KATE. As the lights went down I had a hard time breathing and had to leave the auditorium. Very weird and I think I'm over it now. Ironically I now work on lower Broadway, one block away from the WTC and I look at the big sky where it was every day.

As I walked down Fifth Avenue and then through the meat packing district on 9/11, hearing the news reports, I had convinced myself that some part of the buildings were still standing behind the clouds of smoke. That's insane I know, but it wasn't until I talked to my wife's sister-in-law on the phone that night that I actually knew that both buildings fell.

photos by B.P. Black

His Master's Voice

This is my turtle riffing on Nipper and the old RCA slogan. Don't tell my wife that Speedy was on the rug today.

KNOCKED UP on DVD: Unrated and Unprotected

KNOCKED UP is a light-hearted look at an unplanned pregnancy. I found many laughs, especially from the porn-loving mostly male geek ensemble, but weak plotting for the lovers. I had never seen any of director Judd Apatow’s other movies or TV series but heard all about THE 40 YEAR OLD VIRGIN (2005) from the movies and FREAKS AND GEEKS (1999) from TV, his two best known projects. This year’s SUPERBAD, which he produced, has solidified Apatow’s position as the hottest comedy producer/director/writer in Hollywood.

Katherine Heigl, the GREY’S ANATOMY beauty [excuse the redundancy] plays a producer from the E! Channel. She has a drunken fling with a chubby web-porn entrepreneur, played by Seth Rogen. He gets her pregnant and there are two things to resolve: will she keep the baby and will he take responsibility? No spoiler alert needed to tell you she does and he does.

The only problem left is how to get these two to fall in love. In another fat guy/blonde beauty comedy, SHALLOW HAL, Gwyneth Paltrow’s Rosemary falls in love with Hal (Jack Black) for many reasons, not just because she thinks he must be a great guy to overlook her obesity [he’s actually under a spell that allows him to see only inner beauty] but because of his actions [he’s great with the kids in the burn unit at her hospital (he can’t see their actually condition either)]. KNOCKED UP had her telling him way too early, with no strong motivation, that she loves him. Other than the fact that he said he’d be there for her, I didn’t get the love story from her end.

The DVD extras showed scenes where they spend time together, even a fight where she’s whining that he didn’t cry when they saw the first sonogram pictures of the baby. This is the stuff of real relationships, a stupid fight. I would like to have seen them together more like this. There’s no magic moment where they fall in love and this is a requirement in a comedy. There’s a motivation for the other requirement, the breakup that leads to the makeup, but it’s related to a ridiculous mushroom fueled Vegas road-trip that he takes with her brother-in-law, the consistently brilliant Paul Rudd.

So, worth a rental but glad I didn’t pay 11 bucks to see in a theater.

POSTSCRIPT: Knocked Up in Real Life

In real life I’ve known a few people who were involved in a pregnancy out of wedlock. Unlike the movies, it’s rarely funny. In one case I think it actually improved the life of my old poker buddy Fat Johnny [not his real name] who was trapped by his girlfriend into marrying him [per my psychic mother as she saw her waddle down the aisle], because Johnny became more responsible. After the wedding both families helped them out. They moved from Brooklyn out to Long Island, had the baby and then had a few more kids. Think Jack and Diane, two kids doing the best they can. Johnny had grown up without a father and had large appetites unchecked by the firm hand of Dad. Starting a new life, by all accounts Johnny became a good suburban Hockey Dad. The last time I saw Johnny he was bowling in a lunch-time league at MSG. He was heavy and bald but he looked content. Another happy ending.