WHAT'S NU: The Yiddish Policemen's Union by Michael Chabon

From Michael Chabon, author of KAVALIER & CLAY, comes a What If? tale along the lines of Superman's rocket landing in Germany or Galactus selling insurance. What if the real-life proposal, to settle in Alaska the Jewish refugees of World War II, had actually occurred? TYPU conjectures the Federal District of Sitka in the Alaskan territory, created after the failure of the State of Israel in 1948, as the setting for a modern day detective novel. The temporary Alaskan Settlement Act is to expire in two months and the overarching story is: where will the millions of refugees go when the district reverts back to Alaska?

The guts of this tasty latke of a noir involves Meyer Landsman, a boozy detective who can take a shot of whiskey or two to the solar plexus. His Tlingit/Jewish partner, Berko Shemets, is there to rescue Meyer at any cost, including the security of his own growing family. Meyer's inspector boss is also is ex-wife and these two can't decide if they ever fell out of love. Meyer is under her orders to clean up the cold cases before the District closes shop. A messy case involving a dead chess master, with Messianic overtones and a connection to the fate of the Middle East, becomes too hot to handle. A good cop follows orders but there's a higher oath, to truth, that any shamus subscribes to, even at the risk of his life.

As I read this book I thought of Robert B. Parker's SPENSER novels. There's even a description in TYPU of a particle of dust, and having read most of Spenser I remember there's always a description of a dust mote somewhere in most of the books. Parker, I hate to say is now writing so sparsely that he appears to be dialing it in, although the fans will say it's the mark of a master craftsman chipping away at the block of stone until the horse appears. He's spread a little thin with two other series and now a children's book. I'm hoping Parker gets Spenser and Hawk back to the standard of Chabon's Landsman and Shemets.

In this early passage, Meyer and Berko are following a lead that takes them to a club where a musician has been murdered. The man's dog won't leave the spot on the bandstand he played. Berko does a magical native thing and releases the dog from his watch, which seemed cliche until I got to the end of the chapter:

...there is a scratching at the front door and then a long, low moan. The sound is human and forlorn, and it makes the hair on Landsman's nape stand erect. He goes to the front door and lets in the dog, who climbs back up onto the stage to the place where he has worn away the paint on the floorboards, and sits, ears raised to catch the sound of a vanished horn, waiting patiently for the leash to be restored.

If you enjoy damn good writing you will love The Yiddish Policeman's Union published by HarperCollins.

excerpt copyright 2007 by Michael Chabon

Let's Go Mets Go--LET'S GO METS/Kidney Transplant

We had a Daddy/daughter day at the big Shea yesterday afternoon as the Mets staged one of the greatest 9th inning comebacks in franchise history. Down 5-1 in the ninth with one out, the Mets were about to let the Cubs steal a victory. Most of the starters were resting after Wednesday's late game, which was rain delayed to a 10:17 p.m. start. Willie Randolph called in the A-team to pinch hit in the ninth. Down 5-1, the Mets loaded the bases with two singles and a walk. Dempster walked Endy Chavez to force a run, Ruben Gotay and David Wright each singled to make it 5-4. Delgado followed with a two-run single to win the game.

The Mets picked a good game to give away tickets as it was schools day and there were tens of thousands of kids in attendance. The kids in our section were screaming for David Wright all day and were delirious with joy when he appeared as a pinch hitter, and beyond ecstasy when he got a single.

Tonight the Mets dominated the dominant team of the previous century, the Yankees. The rumor is that if they sweep the once-mighty Bombers, Torre is out. Speaking of Joe Torre, it was shocking to read how Frank Torre, 75, accepted a kidney from his own daughter. This woman has young children of her own to raise. Unless my kids still need me to support them when I'm 75, I would never accept an organ from one of my own children. I like living but not that much.

From the Tribeca Film Festival: WAITRESS

This is a charming movie about Jenna (Keri Russell), an unhappily pregnant waitress married to an abusive husband. The film opens as she's taking a pregnancy test (they were 99% accurate 20 years ago and probably even higher today) in the ladies room of the Southern pie shop and diner where Jenna is a brilliant pie chef. Her two girlfriends and sister waitresses (you know it's comedy because the female main character has friends like a real person; in dramas the main character is usually a male with no friends) are there for support.

Jenna's goal is to use the money she's been squirreling away from Earl (Jeremy Sisto) to get out of town and win the prize at the big pie-baking contest. She's ambivalent about the pregnancy. Earl (the name echos of the Dixie Chicks' "Goodbye Earl") is a big needy baby himself, who makes Jenna promise to love him more than the baby.

Jenna and her doctor (Nathan Fillion) are madly attracted to each other. He sparks her self-confidence but she's going to need something more than a mad crush on a married man to get out of town and make it on her own.

Jenna's waitress friends are played by Cheryl Hines and Adrienne Shelly* (who also directed). They provide capable support and humorous counterpoint with their own romances, illicit and otherwise.

Joe (Andy Griffith) is the local mogul who includes the pie diner among his holdings. No one likes him except Jenna, his favorite waitress. Joe reads horoscopes to her from his newspaper. The paper is yellowed and looks like hot type from the pre-computer era. Either he reads old newspapers or this is another tip from the director that the story is not quite magical realism but more than really real.

Keri Russell shines as Jenna. Having seen her as TV's FELICITY** I thought she was a good actress trying to overcome the curse of being beautiful. Either the scripts and directing were weak or she has improved tremendously as an actress. I found her performance to be authentic and it shows why people leave small towns. Smallville doesn't have shelters for abused spouses.

The movie looks like a metaphor for the process of getting a project in a theatrer. You could have a great script and director (pie recipe and chef) but you need support from a producer to get it made. See this entertaining movie and after the show have a slice of key lime on me.

__________
*Shelly was murdered in November 2006, allegedly by a construction worker who tried to make it look like a suicide. With old-fashioned detective work, kudos to the NYPD, which quickly refuted the suicide angle that major media irresponsibly reported.

**The times I saw her show, I would come in the living room just to be sociable with my wife and watch an episode. I usually leave the room when these ladies' dramas engage in male-bashing, commenting to my wife, "No guy I know treats women like that." I thought FELICITY's main plot sent a terrible message to young ladies--stalking a guy she had a crush on.

Imus in the Morning

Anybody see Hughley on Leno this week? He did several coiffure jokes re the Rutgers team, left out the h-word, and said the press conference looked like the first time any of them had ever combed their hair. Leno did the standard Steve Allen/David Letterman line, "Good night everybody!" and waved good-bye, as if DL, gosh darn it, had gone too far and NBC would have to shut down the franchise.

And what about LEGALLY BLONDE: THE MUSICAL? Isn't the title a play on "legally blind"? That should be banned because it offends me.

Imus will be back. The news last night said his contract required him to be irreverent and topical, and he was to be issued a warning by CBS if his performance is unacceptable. Four months into the contract I doubt there was a warning preceding the incident.

Charles McCord is still reading the news. Rob Bartlett called in this week to do Bill Clinton. Chris Carlin is still doing sports. I think I heard Lou Ruffino still on the board. One could argue that Charles, Rob, and Lou should be banned because they write and say offensive things, but not Chris, who is the good cop on the show. Yet Chris, with his “Fat Boy Lock of the Week” predictions, shows that he’s a self-hating overweight person, and that should not be allowed because it might hurt someone’s feelings.

They're keeping the mike warm for Don. Would it shock anybody to think that the conversation between Les and Don included the expression "until this thing blows over"?

Les will say that Don is reformed and has promised to lead the national dialogue on race. Les answers not to Sharpton, but to stockholders, who will not be happy to pay $40M for nothing, so putting Don back to work is the best course. I doubt no more than one member of the board would resign over this because it’s better to stay on the board and have some influence.

A brilliant move would be to dump the CBS Morning show and simulcast the revived Imus in th Morning radio show. They haven't had a rating there since Captain Kangaroo was bounced.

Keeping him off NBC will allow the employees there to continue under the delusion that they influence corporate policy. Someday, when one of the more vocal ones against Imus is fired by NBC, I wonder if he/she would accept a job at Imus' future employer?

Bernard McGuirk will be the fall guy in the whole affair.

From the IFC: SNOW CAKE

This is an unpredictable and interesting UK/Canadian flick with Sigourney Weaver and Alan Rickman about the often misunderstood condition of autism. As the movie opens, we find Englishman Alex (Rickman) stopping in a diner during a long drive to Western Canada. He has a secret, which we quickly learn. Vivienne, a kooky teenage girl, played by Emily Hampshire, ends up sharing his table and he reluctantly gives her a ride to Wawa to see her mother Linda, played by Weaver. Mom is autistic, a term that describes a spectrum of behavior from low- to high functioning. In film, RAINMAN contains the most recent well-known depiction to the mass audience.

When Rickman makes it to Wawa, he ends up getting involved in the life of the autistic mom and her neighbor Maggie, played by Carrie-Anne Moss. Weaver's portrayal is similar in acting discipline to Peter Sellers in BEING THERE, in the sense of keeping in character throughout, but with the leeway of a greater emotional range. The one emotion that Weaver's character lacks is empathy, and Rickman, whose stock in trade is sarcasm, makes every effort to break through and pull out empathy from her autistic world.

Semi-spoiler alert: a very appealing character leaves the story early on and it must have been a challenge to screenwriter Angela Pell to write a script that was compelling enough to hold the audience after that point. She succeeds. A tip of the snowman's top hat to director Marc Evans and cinematographer Steve Cosens for making a film as bright and beautiful to look at as a Canadian sunset.

Sigourney Weaver has created a character that will seem impossibly high-functioning to parents of children who have little or no speech but autism is many things. Her portrayal is accurate as far as the current wide-ranging definition is applied. I believed her.

Anything that Alan Rickman does has a quality seal on it. His retirement is secure thanks to the Harry Potter series but that work doesn't compare to his brilliance in many other favorites of mine, including GALAXY QUEST (also with Weaver), MICHAEL COLLINS (as Eamon De Valera), DIE HARD (the first installment of the holy trilogy), and DOGMA (not a fave but he's great in it). He's going to play Judge Turpin in the SWEENEY TODD movie directed by Tim Burton and that makes it a gotta go to for me.

Recommended with a money back guarantee.

SNOW CAKE is showing at the IFC Center Theater, located on the site of the old Waverly on Sixth Avenue. I get the IFC On Demand Channel on Cablevision for $4.95/month and this is where I saw it from my couch. They show first-run films as they are still running theatrically and also show older films. About once a month they run something I like and this month it was SNOW CAKE. You'll find out what a snow cake is in the last reel and it's a very nice scene.

From the IFC Theatre: Private Fears in Public Places

From Ira Gershwin: He loves, and she loves, and they love, so won't you love me as I love you? PRIVATE FEARS IN PUBLIC PLACES, directed by Alain Resnais, tackles the age old question in this Parisienne tale that takes place in a constant showfall. Several plots interlink like a Seinfeld episode without the laughs.

Couple number 1: Thierry, late middle-aged, is attracted to somewhat younger Charlotte as they work together at a real estate office. Right away I was gratified to see a film featuring people in my AARP demographic. Charlotte shares her religious videos with Thierry but who is that woman dancing provocatively at the end of the tape? Could it be Charlotte? [Charlotte reminded me of Diane Keaton.]

Couple number 2: Dan and Nicole, in their 30s, are in a rotten relationship. He was cashiered out of the army for some infraction and now he's unemployed. Thierry spends a lot of time showing apartments to Nicole, who wants marriage, babies, etc.

Couple number 3 is not an actual couple but is Thierry and his younger sister Gaelle. Their age difference is too great to look like brother and sister. There's a joke she makes when she's annoyed with him about being glad she doesn't have to sleep with him. This is how you know it's a French film. [If it were Italian they might actually go for it.]

Couple number 4 is Dan, of Dan and Nicole, and Gaelle, of Thierry and Gaelle. Dan separates from Nicole and meets Gaelle on L'Internet.

Lionel is Dan's bartender and employer of Charlotte in her night job as home caretaker of his angrily senile father. Lionel likes Charlotte, who is religious, saying she's the best caretaker his father has ever had, marveling at the smile on the old gent's face as he sleeps. He is a non-believer, as I had assumed most Frenchman were. What is her secret? Could it be the Bible she carries or is it French-style Christian charity?

Dan and Gaelle have a booze-fueled night on the town and it ends chastely with a promise to meet again tomorrow but it doesn't come off as planned. Charlotte is a bewitcher of men and as the film ends another of her videotapes is in the mix, a funny scene. Thierry is the saddest character and must have grown up not watching French movies. I learned that some Frenchmen lead lives as boring as anyone else's.

In THE GREAT MOVIEMAKERS OF HOLLYWOOD'S GOLDEN AGE by George Stevens, Jr., Ray Bradbury talked about how he would rewrite endings of movies and publish them in the New York Times. As this film came to a close I imagined how the American version will end. There would probably be a wedding or two and a flashforward to one year later with the new baby.

CALLING ALL ENGLISH LIT MAJORS: There's a scene with Lionel and Charlotte connecting in his kitchen that breaks from reality and switches to symbolism, as suddenly they are sitting in snow in the same kitchen. Then it cuts back to realism as they continue a heart-to-heart talk. I'm still trying to figure it out. Could be a reminder that no matter how pleasant kitchen chats are, the outside world will intrude.

PRIVATE reaches a Stan Lee illusion-of-change conclusion, where some go back to their routine, some move on a little bit, and time passes pleasantly under a constant, gentle snowfall. SPOLIER ALERT FOR 80s television: The falling snow reminded me of the last episode of ST. ELSEWHERE, where the entire series is revealed to be the imaginings of an autistic child looking into a snow globe.

A pleasant deux heures.

Must See Radio: TALK RADIO on Broadway; Don Imus; the politically incorrect Stan Musial on Larry King

TALK RADIO by Eric Bogosian at the Longacre Theatre [where even the next-to-last TDF ticket in the last row is a great seat] is a great play about radio. Liev Schreiber, who I have always enjoyed in a wide range of movies [THE MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE, HAMLET, RKO 281] and voiceover work, plays Barry Champlain, a talk radio host in Cleveland, 1987. We get to watch him do his show on the most important day of his career. He's been offered a national syndication deal and it's his job to lose. Will his abrasive, abusive style lead to saying something that will ruin the deal? Will he be killed by a crazed fan before he gets a chance to go national?

Schreiber is a master thespian and wrings every drop out of the role. Highly recommended, a terrific supporting cast, some doing triple duty as the nutty callers, make this $30 well spent. A clever set makes you feel you're in a working radio studio. I can't remember ever seeing fluorescent lights on stage before and this cleverly set the off-the-air scenes in a very different mood.

When the play was first performed by the author in 1987, the writing and performing was said to be partially inspired by Don Imus. If I can go back further, I saw a lot of Joe Pyne in the character. Joe used to appear on Channel 5 in New York in the '60s. His most famous line to guests he hated was, "Go gargle with razor blades." The F-bombs in TALK RADIO may have still been shocking to an audience in the waning years of the Reagan era but no longer in our enlightened Sopranos culture.

DON IMUS

This week Barack Obama compares the psychic violence of Imus remarks and the issue of outsourcing to the Virginia Tech shooting of people of all races by a mentally ill loner. I thought it might be a hoax because only right wing sites picked it up, like they did the phony Muslim school report. But the mp3 removes any doubt about the quote or its context [see below from the site wispolitics.com].

This is so intellectually dishonest that I think mainstream media has chosen not to cover it because they like Obama too much to knock him down this early. They're waiting. Can you imagine if Hillary Clinton had said it? She'd be attacked for lack of taste, gravitas, and perspective.

The Imus remark is 4-5 mins in.

http://www.wispolitics.com/1006/20070416obama.mp3

STAN MUSIAL

XM Radio is running LARRY! on XM 130 on the 50th anniversary of the King's start in broadcasting. The channel is all Larry, all the time. Stan Musial was on today from one of Larry's local shows in D.C., 1976. The discussion turned to the way baseball wasn't promoting to the youth, the way they did in Musial's era with the Knothole Gang, which gave tickets to youth groups and promoted off-season activities for kids. He said that maybe 1/4 of the Cards were from Puerto Rico and went home during the off-season. Of the rest of the squad, there weren't enough Americans on the team who stayed in town for off-season promotion.

I'm hoping no one else heard this because I can imagine someone will demand that Stan apologize for implying that Puerto Ricans were not Americans. It's also possible that at least one Latino Cardinal was not from Puerto Rico, and this would also be an unforgivable error. They do field separate teams in many international competitions so it would be easy for Stan to get confused about this.

Perspective: If Imus had committed his gaffe this week of the Virginia Tech shootings, it is likely he'd still have his job. He might have made a tasteless Korean joke, outraged someone who never listens, and even helped heal some pain with the gift of laughter. A racist is someone who sees someone and hates them because of their race. That is not the guy I've listened to for 36 years. I stopped listening for awhile in the past, once for an albinism joke and another time for the lesbian bashing [family concerns in both areas], but I believe Imus when he said in the past, "I'm not prejudiced, I hate everybody." Just as I wouldn't listen to the David Duke show or send my children to Bob Jones University, I would listen to Imus because he is not a hater. He's a guy who said a hateful thing, not a man who hates.

Don Rickles career is over too. He'll have to come out and start the act with his end song, "I'm a Nice Guy," then leave the stage. In Tony Bennett's autobio there's a great story about the first time Bennett saw Rickles' act. He had never seen the insult king before and as Tony's party entered the room, Mr. Warmth laid into him bigtime. After the show, Tony and his friend paid a visit backstage and beat the hell out of Rickles. Since that time, Bennett said, Rickles was always nice to him.

The B Movie Musicals at the Film Forum in New York

A recent bout of unemployment gave me the time to see the opening program of the Film Forum's B Movie Musical festival. Full-disclosure: Like the president of the Hair Club for Men, I am also a card-carrying member of FF.


RISE AND SHINE (1941)

When I was a boy in the '60s, Channel 5 in New York showed this movie and my whole family still remembers one scene from it. Jack Oakie is a dumb-lug college football star and needs to pass the history final. He is asked to name any form or transportation. The class is encouraging him, choo-chooing and chugga-chugging, until he's asked, "What do you do to get in shape before the season?" He passes the test, a signal is passed out the window, and the whole campus celebrates.

George Murphy couldn't act as well as Reagan or dance better than Astaire but he's a lot fun to watch in RISE. He's a night club entertainer sent by the boss to keep tabs on Jack Oakie, the star of the team that he's betting on. Some terpsichore by Murphy, Linda Darnell as the charmer, forgettable tunes by Robin/Rainger, clowning by young Milton Berle and Sheldon Leonard as henchman and mob boss, and funny business by Walter Brennan playing a Confederate veteran hiding his old money make this a B movie. That's a movie where cast and crew on the way up meet performers and company on the way down.


HOLD THAT COED (1938)

This was the next feature on the double bill. The credits rolled on a rotating pigskin, just like in RISE AND SHINE. Murphy stars again, this time as a football coach for a poorly-equipped state college. John Barrymore plays the governor, who first wants to cut their budget so he can run as the austerity candidate for U.S. Senator. Coach Murphy leads the team in a march to the governor's office [his only chance to dance] and stages a near riot.

The governor does a 180 and decides to build a new stadium and recruit good players to drum up publicity for his Senate race. This is a team without stars but one is discovered in accidental Gump-style. Joan Davis, a gender-bending co-ed who can kick the football, leads the team with her kicking and more in the big game against Barrymore's Senate opponent's team [the loser drops out of the race!]. Joan is a lost comic legend. My mother has talked for years about her TV series I MARRIED JOAN, with Jim Backus, as one of the great shows of the 1950s.

Forgettable tunes by Arthur Lange, tepid love interest Marjorie Weaver, almost no dancing by Murphy, some weak-kneed comedy from Jack Haley as the governor's secretary, but the Joan Davis payoff in the last reel makes it worthwhile.

IDIOCRACY on DVD

Writer/director Mike Judge has transcribed every phone call made by a jerk with a walkie talkie cell phone and encapsulated the crudeness of 21st century life in the cautionary tale, IDIOCRACY. Released in virtual secrecy over Labor Day weekend 2006, Luke Wilson portrays soldier Joe Bauers, forgotten (like the film) survivor of a military experiment in suspended animation. The most average man in the Army awakens after 500 years to a world where is the smartest man in the world, because the population has regressed in intelligence. His country calls on him to lead the nation out of the garbage-filled, dust bowl that America has become.

Maya Rudolph (Rita) is along for the ride as a prostitute, who is also part of the experiment gone wrong. She makes her way very well in the new world.

Terry Alan Crews, better known as the Dad in TV's EVERYBODY HATES CHRIS, plays President Camacho, a retired wrestler. No mention is made if he is the first African-American person to hold the office. Crews small-screen talent as a wise father translates to big-screen charisma. He plays an idiot with gravitas. He's in over his head but knows enough to call in the smartest man in the country to help.

This movie has many memorable scenes, which for me is a sign of good story telling. If I'm ever held prisoner in one of Jeb Bush's concentration camps in the Michigan (avenge me, boy!) I could replay most of this movie from my memory. I hate to give away the gags but they are mostly visual. You could watch with the sound off and get most of the jokes.

I'm issuing a rental fee guarantee. If this movie doesn't stick in your head after making you laugh I will send you a free Blockbuster rental coupon upon proof that you kept a straight face throughout.

Arthur Herzog's novel IQ 83 has a similar dystopian conceit of mass low-intelligence in America, except it's caused by a virus. Judge's vision is more plausible because we live in the first stage of it. As long as people don't believe it matters who is the president, or stop educating themselves, or just care about what happens from their couch to their Office Space, we are lurching to disaster.

Special mention to Dax Shepard as Frito, Joe's lawyer. Every time I thought he was about to learn or grow from being around Joe, Judge pulls back the reins and he's still stupid, maintaining a Peter Sellers BEING THERE-like consistency in tone, especially in the Beavis and Butthead-like scene near the end where Frito teams up with another moron to help Joe when he's in mortal danger. We're so conditioned to a sitcom moment-of-shite, that it was refreshing to take another tack and stay dumb. Even the ending is only slimly hopeful in that area.

Is it too obvious to point out that Mike Judge, like Don Imus begetting Howard Stern, is a forefather of today's dumb culture by conceiving Beavis and Butthead?

I wonder where Judge goes from here? Mamet writes/directs PG now and then, so Judge could follow that and make general interest movies and profane satire. He once said he didn't want to be known as the man who could not stop making Beavis and Butthead. Mission accomplished, but it's still his obit lede unless he tops it. Or IDIOCRACY is (re)discovered on television. Maybe Comedy Central can throw it a lifeline and run it overnight? It would make a great 4th of July special. Run it like the History Channel does and follow with Colbert doing analysis.

The D on DVD; Idiocracy

Jack Black was unknown to me until HIGH FIDELITY (2000). Spoiler alert: If you had never seen him until that movie, it makes his appearance performing at the end of the movie all the more unexpected and enjoyable.

I later caught up with a lot of Jack’s previous work in the D’s TENACIOUS D (1999-2000) and Odenkirk/Cross’s MR. SHOW WITH BOB AND DAVID (1995-1996)—both HBO series. I saw the six HBO TENACIOUS D episodes uncut on Comedy Central and watched them again on TENACIOUS D: THE COMPLETE MASTERWORKS. Brilliant stuff.

Jack’s work grew in wisdom and knowledge with SHALLOW HAL (2001) and THE SCHOOL OF ROCK (2003) but KING KONG (2005) fell short of too-high expectations and failed to propel Jack to superstar status. Regardless of the disappointment of KONG, siren comedy was always calling him back. He seemed poised to receive the comedy baton of destiny, in a long track stretching 100 years from Fatty Arbuckle to Oliver Hardy to Lou Costello to Jackie Gleason to John Belushi to John Candy to Sam Kinison to Chris Farley, and make a run at becoming America’s premier funny fat man of the 21st century [sorry Horatio Sanz].

I usually don’t like scatological stuff but like Damon Wayans said in his book BOOTLEG, his father didn’t like bad language unless it was funny. Yet I found TENACIOUS D: THE PICK OF DESTINY too disgustingly filthy to fully enjoy and too much like the six HBO shows to get what I think is a big part of Jack and partner Kyle Gass’s appeal—the surprise every time, like in HIGH FIDELITY, that these guys are really good entertainers.

My mother used to say the same thing about Buddy Hackett. “Why does he have to work blue?” She also liked it when Arthur Fiedler and the Boston Pops played a Beatle song--you could hear the melody without all the loud music.

The D are so much better than the bathroom humor. Has the toilet tank run dry or does the handle just need a jiggle? Jack and Kyle brought humor to a humorless musical genre [Weird Al and Zappa excepted] but enough already with the poop and the erection jokes.

The plot contains a TRUE WEST role switch at the end of Act I, a conceit so regularly stolen (see ADAPTATION for example) that no one remembers that Sam Shepard actually thought it up the first time. Gore Vidal had a similar complaint about the progeny of VISITOR TO A SMALL PLANET—Mork, My Favorite Martian, 3rd Rock, et al. Elaine May said it was too famous a play to have had an author.

Spoiler alert: The quest for a magic pick takes them to the Rock and Roll History Museum and a mysterious stranger, Tim Robbins, shows them how to break in to steal the pick. Jack meets Sasquatch in a mushroom haze, the boys beat the devil—the source of the pick and rock glory, but they never get to play open-mic night—the first-prize being the reason for stealing the pick in the first place.

This could have been a franchise. I can see The D, like Mr. Peabody and Boy, rocking through history and setting things straight. But the movie peters out as the two stoners try to remember that great song they were working on, the greatest song ever played.

Next up: IDIOCRACY.

Extra!!! PIRATE QUEEN preview in the works...

Don't ask me how, but I've scored a comp to a preview of THE PIRATE QUEEN. I would never review an early preview of a show and will simply give a general impression of the goings on. The show is in from Chicago and most media have reported it is being retooled from the Chi town production.

ON BORROWED TIME (1991) at Circle in the Square

Mr. 1 On the Town remembers:

ON BORROWED TIME (1991) at Circle in the Square—thoughts on George Campbell Scott and Nathan Lane

Recently I’ve had the pleasure of doing a little research for the forthcoming memoir of one of the founders of the Circle in the Square Theatre, Theodore Mann. I saw my first play at the downtown Circle, THE HOT L BALTIMORE in 1975 and saw many other productions at the uptown Circle. One of the most memorable was ON BORROWED TIME with the iconic George C. Scott, Conrad Bain of television’s DIFFERENT STROKES, and the rising young actor Nathan Lane.

I had already seen Scott and Lane in PRESENT LAUGHTER at the Circle in 1982 and anticipation was high for their reteaming in BORROWED. It’s a quirky tale about an old man, his grandson, and a deal with Death. You may recall the movie with Lionel Barrymore, as kind in this film as he was evil in IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE.

Right after this show, Lane went to do the GUYS AND DOLLS revival, then went Hollywood to voice Timon in THE LION KING. I always liked him as a latter-day Chuck McCann, dating back to the Nyquil commercials [“Can I borrow a cup of (sniff) Nyquil?”] and his role on THE DAYS AND NIGHT OF MOLLY DODD as Bing Shalimar, a Manhattan character who’ll walk your dog, stand on line for you at the DMV, or do whatever else it is that Manhattanites won’t do. He disappeared from the show as a recurring character but showed up again near the end of the MOLLY run. Molly [Blair Brown—more on her some other time as I’ve probably see her more than any other actress on stage] is desperate for a babysitter and calls Bing, giving him the 411 on what to do with the baby. Bing asks, “Is it okay if I have to step out?”

Scott was a man of unbelievable versatility. If you ever saw MOVIE MOVIE, you know how drop-dead hilarious he was. In ON BORROWED TIME he was tough, tender, and hilarious, defying all attempts to typecast him. Integrity personified, this is a man who once turned down $1 million to do a car commercial because it meant shaving the beard that he grew for a stage role. One of the many things I admired him for in this role was playing his age or even older. Many of today’s stars cling to middle-age roles and look silly. I remember when James Garner said to hell with it, no more, after they taped him up to look younger in the TV miniseries SPACE [not to be confused with SPACE COWBOYS]. Scott embraced and enhanced and these senior roles.

So when I hear about Nathan Lane’s acting partner in two great productions, sorry Matthew Broderick, my first thought is GCS.

Page from original program, copyright PLAYBILL 1991.

FLOATING at the Barrow Street Theatre

Today I saw Floating, created and performed by Hugh Hughes and Sioned Rowlands, at the Barrow Street Theatre. The show is a multimedia presentation, Andy Kaufman meets Victor Borge by way of The Truman Show and Space 1999.

The plot is simple: a man named Hugh Hughes tries to leave his Welsh island home of Anglesey and start a new life on the very day that an earthquake destroys the bridge to the mainland, sending the island afloat into the North Atlantic.

Before the story gets underway, ringmaster Hughes engages the audience in a lot of silliness, in particular, needling the latecomers to the performance. If you don't like audience participation, avoid the first few rows or arriving late.

Victor Borge in COMEDY WITH MUSIC was the master of teasing latecomers, as when I saw him set up a gag in one of his Broadway performances in the 1970s. He told the on-time audience to laugh like crazy later on when he refers to that supposed great joke he told at the beginning of the show, just to make the latecomers feel awful that they missed it. Borge pointed to the late folk and tells them it's too bad they missed that great joke at the beginning of the show. It's funny but not hostile.

Hughes is a little hostile and mildly amusing like Letterman when he asks the latecomers if they wish to apologize for being late. They even do a quick redo of the opening of the show. Other silliness includes passing around to the audience stones from the island and wrestling magazines from his nine (Welsh for grandmother), played by cohort Rowlands. She also plays the other characters, most notably, mean old Mr. Morgan.

After 30 minutes of explaining the story via film, running a PowerPoint presentation of longitude and latitude coordinates of the floating island, and passing around more items to the audience including a handheld slide viewer showing his grandparents, the real plot enfolds.

The sonic/visual highlight of the story is the earthquake, with a close-your-eyes count-to-10 scene change a close second. The island breaks away after the quake and Hugh tries to swim off the island. His efforts are for naught and Mr. Morgan chastises and abuses him most creepily. Morgan gets his comeuppance in comical fashion, giving context to some of the props the audience has been given. At one point the island makes it as far as Iceland, in an odd digression seen on the computer projector. He jumps off Anglesey to Iceland and goes back to Anglesey. I guess he didn't want to leave Anglesey as bad as we were led to believe.

The workings of the Gulf stream brings a resolution to the tale.

Floating has a lot of energy and was a bargain at $14 from TDF (Theatre Development Fund). This show was a part of Wales Week 2007 in New York, via the Edinburgh Fringe Festival 2006 where it received a Total Theatre Award. After the performance the two players were in the lobby. I congratulated Mr. Hughes and Ms. Rowlands for an enjoyable afternoon. She stamped my hand which now has on it a black circle in which the outline of the island is seen, surrounding the word "Floating."

Mission Statement

1 On the Town is dedicated to the idea that, while it is fun to go to the theatre or the movies with someone, it's ok to go alone. The title comes from Eugene Levy's SCTV sketch featuring a nebbish reviewer who was out on the town alone, probably not by choice.

GHOST DANCE: A Film by Eric Stannard

Ghost Dance is the story of Jack Peterson, a Native American who lives in New York City and has a gambling problem. Jack, a successful commercial real estate broker, begins to gamble his life away. Jack's wife, who teaches at a University, encourages him to revitalize his Native American heritage and spirituality that helps him to overcome his gambling addiction.  This story addresses the issues of gambling addiction as well as the concerns of Native Americans in an urban setting as they try to re-identify with their heritage and roots.

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Michael Severance plays Jack Peterson and is of Mohawk descent.  Michael has performed in many roles for film and television, including the lead in the films Clean Break and Dreams of Stone.  Michael has had recuring roles in television's "Guiding Light" and "Another World". 

Kristin Johansen performs the role of Kat, Jack's wife. She has performed in many plays in regional theater, Off and Off-Off Broadway, as well as in films, television, and commercials. Recently, Kristin produced a cabaret show in Manhattan and performed the role of Carolina in the independent film Amazing Me.
 
 
 

Karen Garvey plays the role of Toni, Jack's sexy office co-worker.  Karen has been in many films including The Discovery Channel's production of The Great Gatsby, where she played Jordan Baker.  She has recurring roles on television's "All My Children" and "As The World Turns".  Karen recently played the lead in "How I Learned To Drive" at the Cincinnati Playhouse.
 
 

Franc Menusan, of Creek-French Metis heritage, plays the role of Trickster, Jack's spiritual guide and conscience.  Franc is a nationally recognized flutist who has performed in Carnegie Hall and at the Smithsonian Institution as well as working with Joan Osborn, Carlos Nakai, and Philip Glass.  Franc is a Member of the Board of the American Indian Ritual Object Repatriation Foundation.
 
Steve Curtis
Steve Curtis performs as Vinny, a gambling bookie.  Steve has just finished a production of a new musical called "Lords of the Sky" and is currently developing his own one-man show called "Star 69".  Steve also wrote and performed in his own film, Misguided Angel.

Jean Brookman

Jean Brookman, costume designer, has created costumes for many productions including "A View From the Bridge" at the Roundabout Theatre as well as costumes for "Harvey" and "Nunsense" at the Depot Theatre.

 

Other talent includes two actors who have performed on Broadway, the band Plastic Army, which is currently being courted by two major recording labels, as well as many other talented technicians and actors.

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SPINAL TAP: THE DVD/THOUGHTS ABOUT BRUNO KIRBY

*2002*2002*2002*2002*2002*2002*2002*2002*2002*2002*2002*2002*2002*2002*2002

8.8.02 SPINAL TAP: THE DVD/THOUGHTS ABOUT BRUNO KIRBY

Like the old lady who, when asked how she liked HAMLET, replied, "It was nice, except for all the cliches," the movie THIS IS SPINAL TAP is a seminal work, borrowed and stolen from and even become real. Who saw Clinton's walk backstage at the 2000 convention and didn't think of the boys from Tap making their hilarious backstage trek to get on stage? Who hasn't seen VH1's Behind the Music and grimaced or laughed at the Tap-moments, when a band member bolts or a girlfriend causes dissension with the rest of the group? The DVD commentary track gets the boys together, in character, and the theme is, the director only showed the bad parts, the most embarrassing parts, of the infamous tour that sees their career spiral down from arenas to a theme park puppet theater. Other DVD exrtas include the full-length videos of Hell Hole, Big Bottom, and Listen to the Flower People, an appearance on the Joe Franklin Show, and outtakes. Hours of fun, go get it now!
I'm impresed by what directors cut out. Starting with an ABC network showing of SUPERMAN with added scenes, I always think, yeah, he had that right, that scene should have been cut. In TIST-DVD, we see a deleted scene where the limo driver, Tommy, is invited to party with the boys. It might have made the movie but it takes the comic edge off the shabby treatment that they give Tommy in the scene that did make the movie. In the deleted scene, thy're laughing at him in his skivvies as he croons Sinatra, but he has realized a dream for many people, partying with rock stars. Bruno Kirby has good billing but leaves the film early on after his only surviving scene.
Bruno and Billy Crystal alledgedly had a fight during CITY SLICKERS, along the line of
Billy: Don't tell me how to act.
Bruno: I was acting even before you were unknown.
This alledgedly ruptured their friendship and Bruno was replaced by Jon Lovitz for the sequel. I intend to check out the Internet Movie Database and see what Bruno has been up to. Always gives a professional perf with that straight face, not a laugh at my own joke perf, and perhaps that is what caused the Kirby-Crystal contretemps.

Coming soon:

• Disney in Coney? Don't tread on me. The end of Brooklyn as we know it.
• I review Neil Gaiman's AMERICAN GODS, the ebook edition featuring excerpts from his online diary.
• Le Grand Illusion: the DVD. This is the Jean Renoir film that inspired Stalag 17, The Great Escape, and Hogan's Heroes [no really]

7.24.02 THE STOCK MARKET/401Ks

Disregarding today's mini-recovery, if the Dow hits 5000, that will mark a new psychological barrier that will finally see people transfer their money from 401K stock funds and into low-return lowest-risk 401K money market funds. My own fund has a money market option that was paying 4-6% in the last few years but this year is down to a half-percent, but any port in a storm.
A quick analysis: with the free money aspect [employer contributions] I'm ahead 25% for the last few years but in real dollars I'm down 32%. There's an eventual point where the free money aspect becomes a break even, i.e., the money my employer puts in is eaten up by falling prices. No one know where the Dow will rest [5000, 3000, zero]. Wherever it stops and stays at for several months, the experts will call it a correction, but no one has come out and predicted where it will end because they can't. The fund managers came in and scared us and told us if we didn't invest in stocks we'd be eating dog food in 30 years. We did and we might. Will the historic 12% rate of return on stocks survive? It will interesting to see if this dictum holds in 2032 compared to today.
No one is talking about privatizing Social Security any more. But they will again. Memories are short.

Beware of Internet2.

Just a gut feeling. When Internet2 is up and running and a lot of new things are possible [high quality TV and radio] you'll see a whole new wave of Internet irrational exuberance.

7.22.02 THE COMING STRIKE will not kill baseball.

Baseball already died with the 1994-95 strike that resulted in the cancellation of the World Series. Even a mid-winter settlement might have allowed a warm weather or domed site World Series between the Expos and the Yankees.
I’ve lost most of my interest in baseball. Guys like me with several kids can’t see shelling out $150-200 [to recreate an experience that probably cost my old man $10-15] to see players who don’t run out pop ups.
I watched the last game of the 2000 series. It was over after midnight as the Yanks celebrated on the Shea turf. My kids were long asleep. This is a game I would have pinned my young Met-loving eyelids open for to see in 1970, ‘80, or ‘90. But in 2000, my kids slept. No one cared. The owners care more about luxury boxes than future fans.
The coming years will find the unthinkable--massive contraction of teams, old guard and new. And the taxpayers will be paying for the empty stadiums for years and years. I would advise Major League Soccer to hold off on stadium building, there may be some empty stadiums looking for summer rentals.
Whose fault is it? I have to blame the owners for agreeing to arbitration, the cause of so many overpaid nobodies. Can’t blame the players for getting what they can but the quality has never been lower, maybe not since during WWII when old guys who should have retired, a fifteen-year old, and a one-armed man played the game. The players should be trying harder and know the fundamentals.
Lower salaries that the owners want to impose via hard salary caps might allow lower ticket prices but we’re pretty sure the savings would end up in the owners' pockets. Let's watch these events play out in September 2002 as the nation copes with the one-year anniversary of the terrorist attacks in NY, PA, and D.C. Players and owners both are going to look pretty bad arguing over their millions and billions.

7.15.02 INTERVIEW WITH JEFFREY WEEKS

I was the production editor for both the 1st and 2nd editions of a perennial best seller, THE SHAPE OF SPACE. Read all about it in my company newsletter. He is the winner of a MacArthur Grant and is an expert in the field of topology.

7.11.02: Movie recommendation: THE EMPEROR'S NEW CLOTHES [not a Disney picture]

Put aside your remote and forget the lines for the summer blockbusters. Go see THE EMPEROR'S NEW CLOTHES. An interesting and short fantasy about the interesting and short Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte. Lookalike Ian Holm excels once again [he's played him twice before] as Napoleon Bonaparte, who, so this tale goes, escaped from island exile by trading places with a humble deckhand [hilariously also played by Holm]. The genius of Napoleon is unquenchable as he makes his way to Paris, anticipating the discovery of the impostor to be followed by the acclaim of the people for their returned Emperor. His efficiency in showing a canal bargeman how to speed his trip, his analysis and exploitation of the melon trade, and his regal bearing in the mundane world are humorous but touching, as we see that France may not even want their old Emperor back.
He finds love with a good woman [totally convincing thesping by Iben Hjejle as the melon merchant, who was also good in HIGH FIDELITY with John Cusack], something maybe more valuable than the crown of Europe, that can make a humble man a king or a king renounce his throne. A nuanced turn was also delivered by Tim McInnerney as the knowing doctor who holds the fate of Napoleon [and Europe?] in his hands. The doctor's motivations are his love for the melon lady and also patriotism. He is best known to American audiences as Darling in Rowan Atkinson's classic BLACK ADDER tv series.
Now playing at The Screening Room, 54 Varick Street. Near Canal St. Stations on the 8th Avenue and 7th Avenue lines. [Be careful on Canal St. I saw a pretty big rat not too far from the theatre.]

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Blackboard 2000

In the News

The New York Times printed my letter about my mother and buying recordings on demand in the 1940s in the Circuits column. Enjoy. Live link version.
Recently salon.com published my letter to Laura Miler commenting on her article about the Rocket Ebook and they said I can reprint here for your enjoyment. Apparently I own my own words! Thanks salon.com. The reply asked if I was going to present it as a screenshot but I'm presenting it to you in all its HTML glory. Live link version.
I'm getting another Ebook, the 16MB model, and will have more on that in May 2000. Read The Rocket Ebook for my earlier review of the 4MB model, before I broke it.

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Spam Spam Spam Spam Alert

You're never far from spam. I checked my old address the other day and found 296 spams from the last 45 days and one birthday greting from my brother Dennis. Never list your address on ATT Worldnet directory. It will be prey to every overseas porno site and get rich scheme on the Net.

Comin' at ya: the Spenser 2000 novel, HUGGER MUGGER by Robert B. Parker. Parker recently had a health scare but got this book to press before the docs almost killed him. Yeah, that doesn't happen much. We hear he lost a lot of lbs and no longer resembles the dust jacket. Don't be surprised if Parker's experience becomes a future plot point. Spenser makes two concessions to age, one regarding his prowess with his lady and another versus a steep street in San Francisco. He's still going strong for a guy who was boxing right after he got out of Korea.

A look at the Aubrey/Maturin seafaring series by the late Patrick O'Brian. This series puts you on the con right next to Captain Jack Aubrey and his best friend Dr. Stephen Maturin. Taking place during the Napoleonic Wars, they fight, they laugh, they play music and have pulse-pounding adventures on the high seas. So far I've read the first book in the series, Master and Commander where the two heroes have a first meeting worthy of Holmes and Watson, and the third, H.M.S. Surprise. I listened to the second, Post Captain on tape [19 1/2 hours]. A rollicking good read/listen.

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Election Special 2000: Team Coverage of the Bill Bradley rally in NYC.
This marked the kickoff of the fight for New York against Al Gore. See the candidate at the podium and me [lower right corner with confetti in hair, behind leather-lunged dude in baseball cap].

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Product Review 1999: Must Read PC! The Rocket Ebook
The review contains a bonus link to Dickens' A Christmas Carol.

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don't forget to check out http://thunderbirdfilms.home.att.net for the latest on GHOST DANCE: A Film by Eric Stannard

Movies Reviews The Blackboard congratulates the enchanting Angelina Jolie on her Academy Award triumph for GIRL INTERRUPTED. Read about her sizzling perf in: Pushing Tin	Celebrity Meetings and Sightings Gore Vidal at the 92nd St. Y
Sentimental Recollections From 1992! All about the early years at home with 3 in diapers. Full-Time Father part 1 part 2 part 3	Looks at Books Hugger Mugger Aubrey/Maturin Weaving the Web Les Miserables

Sports

Check out the Dowd Report for the real story on Pete Rose. I read the Agreement and part one of a three-part PDF file. Basically, Pete agrees to the ban and agrees that the ban is justified by the facts. The ban is only issued to people who bet on their own teams. However, the agreement also lets Pete not formally admit that he bet on the Reds. But, unless he is illiterate, he admits by the signed agreement that the weight of the evidence is in the category described in the second paragraph. Either he bet on the Reds or he is the victim of a terrible conspiracy.

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Science and Technology

From 1998! Read A Level Playing Field. I had a vision that a small company could compete with a larger one most effectively by exploiting emerging technology. This first appeared in the MDEye, the company newsletter of Marcel Dekker, Inc.. That was the last issue ever published. Too bad because I think a lot of people miss it.

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letters to the Editor

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comments to:
nospambri_black@att.net

The Shape of Space

Book review: HUGGER MUGGER by Robert B. Parker

Do you like your action hard-boiled? You won’t be disappointed with HUGGER MUGGER by Robert B. Parker, the latest Spenser novel, published by Putnam. Spenser is a private dick, bounced from the Suffolk County (Mass.) police 30 years ago because he lives by his own knightly code. In a change of pace from the usual New England locales, he is on the road to investigate race horse shootings at a stable in Georgia that includes the up and coming Hugger Mugger. The horses are owned by Walter Clive, father of three daughters--the oldest one is single and runs the operation and feels unappreciated [King Lear anyone?]; the two younger ones don’t do much at all except take up space with their ne’er-do-well husbands. The case is left unsolved but Spenser returns when Clive turns up dead. Whodunit? And why? Is the murder tied into the horse shootings or is it coincidence? What about the possibly bastard son by Clive’s former and final mistress and the three girls’ mother, the unReconstructed hippie ex-Mrs. Clive? There’s fortune at stake and plenty of motive for murder. Spenser pokes around, claiming that it looks bad for a former client to turn up dead, but we know it's another crusade for justice in a world where the rich get their way when good people do nothing.
I missed a Spenser regular, the redoubtable Hawk, who is in France during the events of this book, but the local sheriff provides a good bantering partner for Spenser. He spills enough for Spenser to pursue the facts, but not enough to have it come back to him.
I paid a little more at Posner’s Bookstore in Grand Central Station to get a signed copy. Support your small bookseller if you can and pick up a copy of HUGGER MUGGER.
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Letter in the Science Times

April 27, 2000

INCOMING

Letters to the Editor

Translate This To the Editor: The article on computer-aided translation ("Untangling the Web's Languages," April 20) missed a critical point: the quality of the resulting translation is highly dependent on the quality of the original source.
Corporations that use machine translation invest heavily in terminology standardization and controlled language authoring of the source content. This is designed to simplify the content intended for translation, based on a principle of "one word, one meaning."
Without this, the resulting translations are unusable (for example, the English word "job" in a manufacturing industry context can mean "batch process," but within a human resources context can mean "occupation" and thus be translated differently).
We're all familiar with the terrible standards of English used in most of the Internet authoring that exists today. Small wonder that translations are not perfect.
ULTAN BROIN
San Francisco
To the Editor:
"Untangling the Web's Languages" showed examples of AltaVista's translations of the United States Constitution, but didn't point out how atrocious the renderings were.
In the German version, for example, AltaVista was unable to translate the words "tranquility," "blessings," "posterity," "ordain" and even "we," and simply reproduced them in English.
Surely even a cheap English-German pocket dictionary contains those words.
It translated "people" as "Leute" (which doesn't mean "people" in the political sense, but something more like "folks") and "Constitution" as "Beschaffenheit" (which means "condition," or "nature," like someone's physical constitution; the word for a basic legal document is "Verfassung").
BRUCE TINDALL
Dallas
To the Editor:
Translation software almost resembles the fantasy of putting the algebra book under the pillow the night before the big test.
Wouldn't it be nice if I didn't have to learn my conjugations!
More realistically, translation software will likely remain an efficiency tool for someone already skilled in a foreign language, not an alternative to acquiring language skills.
JACK MARTENS
Winnetka, Ill.

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G.P.S. and Insurance
To the Editor:
I was gobsmacked by the story of Progressive Auto Insurance's attempt to incorporate global positioning system monitoring as a way of paying for insurance ("Paying for Car Insurance by the Mile," April 20). What struck me as more amazing was the relatively casual way the test subjects reacted to the invasion of privacy.
Anyone who thinks for one moment that an insurance company would go to such great lengths to save customers money must be deluding themselves. When has insurance ever gone down? It's like the banking industry's sly move to introduce A.T.M.'s as a convenience when their real purpose was to eliminate tellers and increase profit.
It will be the insurance companies that will soon govern this country's roads. They won't need the state to issue a ticket for speeding before they raise your insurance rates -- it will happen on the fly!
It never ceases to amaze me to what ends people will sell out their freedoms for a piddling discount.
GREGOR HALENDA
New York
To the Editor:
While Progressive's new car insurance system may raise questions of privacy, these issues must be balanced against the insurance industry's current discriminatory practices. Car insurance is one of the only services in this country that has its price determined primarily by the age and sex of the buyer.
Progressive's new "by-the-mile" policy is step in the right direction for freeing car insurance from its current biases.
PATRICK BURNS
New York

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Art and Image
To the Editor:
It is with great interest that I read "A Portrait of the Artist as Internet Marketer" (April 20). As a member of a visual art-oriented community, and an enthusiast user of the Web, I can only wish that sites with a high emphasis on image quality had been mentioned. As two examples. www.artistregister.com and www.artregisterpress.com, demonstrate, quality and content cohabit very happily.
JEAN M. ZIMMERMAN
New York
What Goes Around To the Editor:
Instant CD's from kiosks may be new ("Appearing Soon at a Store Near You: An A.T.M. for the Ears," April 20), but buying recordings on demand is not.
My 81-year-old mother, Henrietta, saw the Broadway musical "Call Me Mister" in the 1940's. She loved one particular tune and after the show happened to see a store in Times Square that made copies of records (on demand, as we say today, but I'm sure my mother asked politely). From my childhood I remember it as her only 78 record that didn't have a label.
Plus ça change. . . .

BRIAN BLACK
New York

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Just Do It, Now
To the Editor:
I have a suggestion for those people who are busy composing e-mails to be sent to loved ones when they die ("Tales From the Crypt: Storing E-Mail to Be Sent After Your Death," April 13). Why don't you send those e-mails now -- or, even better, say it face to face?
It's very sad that we can't let our family and friends know that we love them and tell them what they mean to us now, while we're still here to enjoy each other and to build strong relationships.
J. A. VERDINO
New York

Circuits welcomes letters from readers. Letters must include the writer's name, address and telephone number. Letters can be sent by e-mail to circuits@nytimes.com or by postal mail to Letters, Circuits, The New York Times, 229 West 43d Street, New York NY 10036-3959. Letters selected may be abridged.

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Related Sites
These sites are not part of The New York Times on the Web, and The Times has no control over their content or availability.

• www.artistregister.com
• www.artregisterpress.com

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Bill Bradley Rally 2/2/00

I attended the Bradley for President rally at Judson Memorial Church in Greenwich Village on 2/2/00. The rally was scheduled to start at 12:30 pm so I arrived at 11:45 am to get a good spot. I ended up about three standing rows back to the right of the podium and had an excellent view of the kickoff to the March 7 primary.
    A young man from NYU Journalism school interviewed me. I explained why I prefer Bradley of the current crop of candidates from both parties. It was interesting to see the results of the preparation that goes into a staged event. This was the beginning of the New York campaign and the stage was crammed with dozens of local politicos and celebrities. Many seemed truly surprised to see the turnout of several hundred that spilled out into the street and around the block. I was notified by campaign@bradley.com and noticed in the last week that the event was not overly publicized, I think by choice. Even www.billbradley.com only noted the location in the 24 hours preceding the event. You want the news media there of course but you want to fill the hall with supporters, not just anybody. I noticed someone faint about five minutes into Bradley’s speech and I couldn’t help but wonder if this a classic political prank to distract everybody.
    Don’t Mess with Bill was the campaign theme and among the other tunes played by a small jazz combo at the event. Emcee Ron Silver did a good job kicking off the program at about 12:45.  Former Knick teammates Dave Debusschere and Earl “The Pearl” Monroe spoke. Dave emphasized the character of the man he has known for 35 years. Earl did too. Earl was walking with a cane and it isn’t known what “Pearl” is illing with. Bill’s wife Ernestine spoke lovingly of her guy and it was genuine. Like Kissinger used to say to Nixon when they were making a statement regarding our reasons for a geopolitical action, it had the added advantage of being true.
    Patti Smith rocked the house with The People Have the Power. I thought of my friend Gary who was Patti's biggest follower in the late 70s.
    Councilwoman Ronnie Eldridge [Mrs. Jimmy Breslin] spoke and many other Manhattan pols whose names I didn’t write down. Shopper saver and cable channel movie reviewer Ed “Judge” Koch made us raise our right hands and pledge to take 10 people to the polls on Primary Day to vote for Bill Bradley. Ed introduced Bradley. Slightly ironic as Koch was a Gore man in ‘88 [Gore finished third]. Actually a short rich banker had already introduced Bradley to the stage, so quickly that it took us all by surprise. Bradley took in the applause to confetti thrown by myself and other from long, cardboard tubes. Then Ed took the mike and introduced him again, introducing him to the microphone to start his speech.

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    Bradley touched on familiar themes of character, health care for kids, and the prospect of a government with a surplus on its hands. I was surprised when he demanded an apology by Gore boosters to Sen. Bob Kerrey for the shameful remarks directed at Kerrey in New Hampshire. The remarks are so ludicrous that I hardly believe them, but do smack of the level that Clinton/Gore historically have sunk to. I was also surprised because this is the kind of elbow a lot of us have been waiting for, for Bradley to throw at an opponent who has had his way so far with personal fouls.
Bradley touched on themes of inclusion, in contrast to the mostly young and white crowd.

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    He told two anecdotes. I would lay off Einstein jokes but the LBJ bit is a winner. Bradley noted that Dave Debusschere was a few inches taller and it would be politcally poor judgment to have his picture taken next to a taller man. This reminded him of the time he was in the White House in 1964, East Wing or West wing he couldn’t recall [someone from stage remarked “You'll be back there!!”], as a member of the U.S. basketball gold medal champions. People were lining up to shake hands and get their picture taken with LBJ. Wrestler and LBJ, CLICK, swimmer and LBJ, CLICK. Then the 6’6” Bradley shook hands with the 6’3” president. Bradley anticipated the photo but LBJ told him to keep moving.
    The Einstein bit: Einstein is teaching a grad course for the second year in a row, same students. “Professor Einstein,” a student noted, “These questions are the same as last year’s!” “Well,” replied the enigmatic genius, “make sure you give different answers.” This was meant to be an allegory to Bradley being able to think up new answers to old problems that might contradict his own positions of years ago, because while problems may be similar, yesterday’s solution may not work. Pity the doctrinaire, the ideologue, locked in to giving the same rehearsed answers. While Bradley has his stock answers, you can sense that as he gives a reasoned response the other half of his brain is still debating the issue. He is a man of conscience.

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Commentary

As I watched Al Gore brag to his cheering audience after he won New Hampshire he said, I heard what you said you wanted, and I told the country what you told me to say. I'm paraphrasing but it's very close to what I saw on C-SPAN. I think that used to be called pandering, not leadership. I don't want a leader to comfortably confirm my beliefs. We'd still have slavery if the system didn't get shaken up now and then. I want to be challenged to excel. I want the cesspool of campaign finance, in a fouler state than the Paris sewers of the 19th century, to be cleaned up. Money is influence is access is power. That's why Bradley [and McCain] are the two most dangerous men out there today.
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